I was dumb.
Emo o emo.
It tends to strike on me when I have emo songs running on my playlist, lying on my bed, trying really hard to fall asleep. Then, it got me reminiscing. Worth it or not? You decide..
It was love at first sight back then when she hopped towards my bunch of friends. It was the cheerful smile on her face and the attractive appearances got me so hooked up. The shallow me, obviously fell for her appearances.
"Shallow lah you"
Hello, don't come and tell me the reason why you fall for someone is because she/he is good at math/science or she/he isn't afraid of lizards/cockroaches when you first see him/her in person.
Slowly during secondary, I got to know her well along with my results degrading. That was when I knew that she has more than meets the eyes. With her great personality and attitude, I realized that I was falling deeper for her with the hope that we might get together even though she was in a relationship. Could this be love? Wait was what my heart told me to do so back then even though the future doesn't seem to be promising. Soon after, I knew I couldn't back off.
"Fuck her la, just move on"
"Let go Adrian, let go"
"Get a life, Adrian"
"Move on damn it"
"Whats the point of forgoing all the trees in the jungle just because of one tree?"
These were what I mostly heard from my friends when I expressed my sorrow to them. Then the cow me thought to myself, what if she is already the most valuable tree in the jungle, whats the point of letting her go? Hmmmmmm what should I do? That was how I got the name of my blog. Never have I given up on her, I know I was dumb to fall for her. All the while, I must admit, it was just tepuk sebelah tangan.
Almost four years down the road, we strayed further apart, communicate lesser. I have learned to move on but only sooner to leave myself in a dilemma. What if I still think a lot about her if I'm with another girl, wouldn't that be just a replacement? Wouldn't that hurt the girl I'm with. Now, you girls are even more afraid to be together with me huh? Afraid that you will just be another replacement right? Don't worry, don't worry, let me guarantee you that once I've got into a relationship, I'm gonna be very serious and treasure it because I know love is fragile and so does a girl's heart.
Enough of nonsense, so anyway, it was rather dull until recently during Merdeka's eve, a friend of mine asked me whether I still have feelings for her. It really got me thinking..
I was dumb, ya I know, but it is impossible to say ZERO.
Today, I was dumb and I'm still dumb to have the slightest feeling for you. I don't know how far this feeling is gonna take me to, but the least I know is that I still love you as my friend.
It does feel good after I blabbed it all out here.
Have a nice day.
It tends to strike on me when I have emo songs running on my playlist, lying on my bed, trying really hard to fall asleep. Then, it got me reminiscing. Worth it or not? You decide..
It was love at first sight back then when she hopped towards my bunch of friends. It was the cheerful smile on her face and the attractive appearances got me so hooked up. The shallow me, obviously fell for her appearances.
"Shallow lah you"
Hello, don't come and tell me the reason why you fall for someone is because she/he is good at math/science or she/he isn't afraid of lizards/cockroaches when you first see him/her in person.
Slowly during secondary, I got to know her well along with my results degrading. That was when I knew that she has more than meets the eyes. With her great personality and attitude, I realized that I was falling deeper for her with the hope that we might get together even though she was in a relationship. Could this be love? Wait was what my heart told me to do so back then even though the future doesn't seem to be promising. Soon after, I knew I couldn't back off.
"Fuck her la, just move on"
"Let go Adrian, let go"
"Get a life, Adrian"
"Move on damn it"
"Whats the point of forgoing all the trees in the jungle just because of one tree?"
These were what I mostly heard from my friends when I expressed my sorrow to them. Then the cow me thought to myself, what if she is already the most valuable tree in the jungle, whats the point of letting her go? Hmmmmmm what should I do? That was how I got the name of my blog. Never have I given up on her, I know I was dumb to fall for her. All the while, I must admit, it was just tepuk sebelah tangan.
Almost four years down the road, we strayed further apart, communicate lesser. I have learned to move on but only sooner to leave myself in a dilemma. What if I still think a lot about her if I'm with another girl, wouldn't that be just a replacement? Wouldn't that hurt the girl I'm with. Now, you girls are even more afraid to be together with me huh? Afraid that you will just be another replacement right? Don't worry, don't worry, let me guarantee you that once I've got into a relationship, I'm gonna be very serious and treasure it because I know love is fragile and so does a girl's heart.
Enough of nonsense, so anyway, it was rather dull until recently during Merdeka's eve, a friend of mine asked me whether I still have feelings for her. It really got me thinking..
I was dumb, ya I know, but it is impossible to say ZERO.
Today, I was dumb and I'm still dumb to have the slightest feeling for you. I don't know how far this feeling is gonna take me to, but the least I know is that I still love you as my friend.
It does feel good after I blabbed it all out here.
Have a nice day.
posted by Adrian at
5:35 AM
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