What is going on?
My parents have always been giving me as much freedom as they could. I can say that they are very lenient to me since my college life started, probably is the trust! However, recently I've came to realize that this freedom has driven me way too far from what I used to be, a normal life.
Things have not been the same. Totally upside down.
I would just stay up for nothing till late at night around 5-6 in the morning, just to stare at the monitor, doing things that are unproductive. No matter how sleepy I am, I will just click click click my night away when everyone is sleeping. When I finally decided to sleep, I woke up around 3-4 o'clock in the afternoon if there is no class on that day. I mean why shouldn't I sleep at 12 and wake up abit earlier the next day?
I've came to realize that what I have promised them had all been broken. The results, especially and yet they still have the confidence in me, hoping I will do better in the future. I should be glad but instead I didn't wake up from my mistakes and yet making them worse day by day. I have been so lifeless, living a dreadful life that I will only face the computer everyday when I return home till I go to sleep. I don't share much with my parents because I've always thought that their talking is equal to nagging. I'm terribly wrong I know.
I've misused the freedom they allowed me. I've disobeyed them but thank God I know my where my limits are.
I don't know what to say, just disappointed with myself and I'm sorry.
Will I be a better me? My brother is leaving again later to Liverpool, lets just hope that marks a new start of my life, for better of course.
Have a nice day
Things have not been the same. Totally upside down.
I would just stay up for nothing till late at night around 5-6 in the morning, just to stare at the monitor, doing things that are unproductive. No matter how sleepy I am, I will just click click click my night away when everyone is sleeping. When I finally decided to sleep, I woke up around 3-4 o'clock in the afternoon if there is no class on that day. I mean why shouldn't I sleep at 12 and wake up abit earlier the next day?
I've came to realize that what I have promised them had all been broken. The results, especially and yet they still have the confidence in me, hoping I will do better in the future. I should be glad but instead I didn't wake up from my mistakes and yet making them worse day by day. I have been so lifeless, living a dreadful life that I will only face the computer everyday when I return home till I go to sleep. I don't share much with my parents because I've always thought that their talking is equal to nagging. I'm terribly wrong I know.
I've misused the freedom they allowed me. I've disobeyed them but thank God I know my where my limits are.
I don't know what to say, just disappointed with myself and I'm sorry.
Will I be a better me? My brother is leaving again later to Liverpool, lets just hope that marks a new start of my life, for better of course.
Have a nice day
posted by Adrian at
1:33 AM
3 Comments:
oh my god...!!! that is what i was thinking since i came here.... too much freedom and now look at me.... a total mess!!!!!!!! haih no freedom also complain got freedom also complain.... sometimes i wonder what we all want lor....!!!
yealo susan! life oh life@!
i'm kind of glad you realised that.. the thing is, you will have to wake up!!! and have a strong will! you don't just brag about your problems.. come up with a solution! a plan to curb it! fight it.... start by doing some housework or go to the office to help out and learn sth! take the first step!!! be motivated!!! i'm behind you, supporting you... J.
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